CD: How Would We Be If The Kings Won A Title?

Yeah, save it. I know.

“It will never happen.”

“How will we be? Dead.”

I get it. BUT- this is just a fun exercise. After watching the Eagles win their first Super Bowl ever, I did what every other red-blooded American does after the Super Bowl: tune in for the inevitable destruction in the title city. Every time I watch these scenes unfold, my mind wonders into the unknown: What would Sacramento’s celebration be like the night the Kings won the NBA Finals?

I can’t help but think when a team wins a title, what’s a Championship night in Sacramento would look like?

We’d probably overturn a bike and light a fire in a bbq on the street

— Carmichael Dave (@CarmichaelDave) February 5, 2018

My wording was unfortunate, yes I’m aware we have the Republic, Monarchs, Surge, and Knights to thank (someone will undoubtedly remind me of another I’m forgetting). With apologies to all those clubs, especially my beloved Republic, nothing will come close to a Kings championship for this town. In light of Philly fans climbing greased traffic poles, burning things, and eating horse poo (seriously, gross), many of you responded with the craziness that may or may not ensue when everyone spilled out onto David J. Stern Walk…..

In addition to the nude bicycle accidents, there will be a lot of dogs howling due to cowbells. And purple, lots of purple.

— Patrick from Davis (@PatrickFrmDavis) February 5, 2018

Definitely a lot of nude bicycle accidents.

Crazy times when the Sacramento Surge won the World Bowl in 1992. I think one guy had too much to drink at Fannie Anne's and had a friend drive home.

— Stu Clary (@hecanfoos) February 5, 2018

True. Things were LIT at Fannie Anne’s.

streaking across the Tower Bridge

— Beck-E (@BeckEMouse) February 5, 2018

A lot of people apparently can’t wait to take off their clothes for a Kings title. I get it.

We’d be cruisin’ around Sunrise Mall and Birdcage like it was 1992.

— Chris Gordon (@thechrisgordon) February 5, 2018

Broseph: Those dollar movies at Birdcage were a great deal. Anyone remember the Madison Square cheapie theater where Garcia’s and Home Depot is now?

We'd overturn plastic chairs in our backyards and It's A Grind would have a line out the door!

— Sports Antagonist/Card Economist (Ben) (@ourtradingcards) February 5, 2018

We shall rebuild….

I already said when the @SacramentoKings win a championship I'm getting my first Kings tattoo.

— 🎨SMDFTB 🎨 (@ZachJay1207) February 5, 2018

As will I, fam. As will I.

Finally, there’s always “that guy”. Never fails:

We will watch it on TV because it will be in Seattle.

— Matt Hill (@SRFC_Trumpeter) February 5, 2018

A living, breathing, Sacramento Republic fan. Wishing the Kings had moved to Seattle. Boo this man. No accounting for some people’s taste, which is probably why I still have a radio show.

 

What would you do if the Kings won the title? Throw it in the comments below, or hit me up on twitter @carmichaeldave

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